&34;I was compulsive, paranoid, and drinking all the time. I felt I'd ruined everything, hurt and embarrassed everyone I loved,&34; Brooke Nevils writes. Matt Lauer accuser says she ended up 'in a psych ward' after departing NBC &34;I was compulsive, paranoid, and drinking all the time. I felt I'd ruined everything, hurt and embarrassed everyone I loved,&34; Brooke Nevils writes. By Wesley Stenzel :maxbytes(150000):stripicc()/WesleyStenzelauthorphoto32b61793a2784639af623f2ae091477e.jpg) Wesley Stenzel is a news writer at . He began writing for EW in 2022.

"I was compulsive, paranoid, and drinking all the time. I felt I'd ruined everything, hurt and embarrassed everyone I loved," Brooke Nevils writes.

Matt Lauer accuser says she ended up 'in a psych ward' after departing NBC

"I was compulsive, paranoid, and drinking all the time. I felt I'd ruined everything, hurt and embarrassed everyone I loved," Brooke Nevils writes.

By Wesley Stenzel

Wesley Stenzel is a news writer at **. He began writing for EW in 2022.

EW's editorial guidelines

January 28, 2026 3:39 p.m. ET

Matt Lauer on 'Today' on Nov. 8, 2017. Credit:

Nathan Congleton/NBCU Photo Bank/NBCUniversal via Getty

- Brooke Nevils said that she "was compulsive, paranoid, and drinking all the time" after accusing Matt Lauer of sexual assault.

- The former *Today* show producer said that she found herself "in a psych ward" during the fallout of her allegations.

- After leaving NBC, Nevils wrote a book about sexual assault, got married, and had two children.

Brooke Nevils is sharing new details about her experience after accusing Matt Lauer of sexual misconduct.

The former *Today* show producer penned the book *Unspeakable Things*, which hits shelves on Feb. 3. In an excerpt from the book published in The Cut, Nevils reflects on the impact that reporting Lauer's alleged abuse had on her.

Nevils — who claimed that Lauer first sexually assaulted her while they were working at the 2014 Sochi Winter Olympics, and had several subsequent encounters with him that she said were unconsensual — says that the longtime *Today* host was fired the day after she filed a complaint about his alleged misconduct, which led her to receive unexpected attention from the media.

"After his firing was announced the next morning — Wednesday, November 29, 2017 — the [*New York*] *Times* and *Variety* published a slew of other allegations against Matt," she writes. "The next day, an investigative reporter was texting my personal cell phone. Eventually a tabloid began calling my co-workers at 30 Rock, apparently asking whether they were aware that I was Matt's 'mistress who'd gotten him fired.'"

Matt Lauer in Southampton, N.Y., on July 22, 2023.

Michael Ostuni/Patrick McMullan via Getty

A representative for Lauer did not immediately respond to **'s request for comment. Lauer previously denied the allegations, claiming that all of his encounters with Nevils (and the other women who accused him of misconduct) were consensual.

Nevils ultimately didn't last at NBC much longer. "I made it a few more months before taking a leave of absence that would ultimately prove permanent," she writes. "I barely recognized the train wreck I'd become. I was compulsive, paranoid, and drinking all the time. I felt I'd ruined everything, hurt and embarrassed everyone I loved."

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Eventually, Nevils checked in for mental health treatment. "Soon I would find myself in a psych ward, believing myself so worthless and damaged that the world would be better off without me," she recalls.

Nevils says that she struggled to identify with the #MeToo movement as it gained traction online. "I was supposed to use a hashtag and call myself a survivor," she writes. "I didn't feel at all like a survivor. I felt like an idiot, set up to fail from the beginning."

The author believes that the way that contemporary society handles sexual assault allegations hasn't improved much since Lauer's firing.

"The process of coming forward is still, broadly speaking, nightmarishly complicated and often self-defeating," Nevils writes. "The number of sexual assaults that are ever reported, investigated, and prosecuted is still comparatively small. Innocent men remain terrified of false allegations, while victims still face one terrible choice after another. We are left, then, with a system that works for no one but abusers."

***Get your daily dose of entertainment news, celebrity updates, and what to watch with our EW Dispatch newsletter.***

The former *Today* producer says that her confusion and pain after the fallout of the allegations inspired her to write *Unspeakable Things*. "I have spent the long years since using my otherwise abandoned skills as a journalist to report and write the book about sexual harassment and assault that I wish had existed for me," Nevils writes. "In the process, I have painstakingly rebuilt my life. I got married. I had two beautiful children. Every moment with my family is a precious piece of the life that I once believed I no longer deserved to live."

*Unspeakable Things* hits bookstores on Feb. 3.

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Published: January 29, 2026 at 07:57AM on Source: ANDY MAG

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